My kids have been in the loving embrace of the Howard County Public School System for 10 years now. Here is what I have learned about the first few days of school.

1) Don’t overload the kids with supplies. * As my friend Erica
Washington points out, “Don’t send ALL the supplies to school at once unless you just want to supply the whole class.” Send just what will fit in a backpack on the first day. It will be easier (and less embarrassing) for you to drop off your kids if they fit through the school door.

2) There is no joy in repetition. This year I had the foresight to make multiple copies of one child’s emergency contact form. Instead of writing out the same info nine times (three forms for each kid), all I needed was some correcting tape and a few modifications and voila! Nine forms. One Howard County teacher offered me another suggestion: computer generate some address labels and just stick ‘em on the forms as needed.

3) Just walk away. ** As former Cradlerock School PTA President Susan Coghlan puts it, “For the parents of little ones: Kiss, wave, and GO. Do NOT enter the building or see children to the classroom. And NEVER let them see you cry on the first day of school!” Your kids need to be focused on adapting to their new environment, not reacting to the spectacle of Mom or Dad having an emotional moment. This is a time to show your trust in - and reinforce the authority of - the new grown-ups in their lives.

4) Do your homework Your kids will be bringing home metric tons of paperwork for you to review and complete in the first week of school. Don’t procrastinate. Pay attention to website information your kids’ teachers and principals send home – teachers often post grades and updates and assignments, so you will find that the web is an important way to keep track of your kids’ academic progress.

5)  … And let your kids do theirs. ***  Many older kids can complete the portions of the grown-up paperwork that pertain to them.  But there will homework long after the paperwork is done. If you find yourself spending hours on kindergarten homework, talk to your child’s teacher and/or guidance staff at the school for advice. (And remember, homework is not the biggest part of your K-2 child’s grades.)

Now for three disclaimers:

*Teachers do need extra supplies, though. One teacher told me what she spends the most money on for her classroom is fiction for the kids to read and Kleenex. Ask your child’s teacher or representatives of your school’s PTA or student advocacy groups what kinds of supplies are best to donate.

**Don’t think for a minute you’re going to be on time for work on the first day of school. Just request the half hour of leave or change your schedule in advance. Spare yourself the grief. Trust me.

***Advice you don’t like may still be good advice. Yes, you do know your child better than anyone else. But you’re only human, and you may not recognize the signs of a potential learning problem in your own kid. (Like me not realizing that one of my kids is on the autistic spectrum. As my own psychologist put it, “Well, fish don’t know they’re in water, either.”)