3,300 American flags line a lawn of the Columbia Mall along Little Patuxent Parkway. Each flag represents a single life lost during the Sept. 11 attacks 10 years ago. The memorial was organized by the mall and the Columbia-Patuxent Rotary Club.
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I was stunned last week to get an e-mail from my daughter's elementary school suggesting that kids wear red, white and blue on Friday, Sept. 9, to honor the memory of the 9/11 terror attacks in 2001.
I knew the 10th anniversary of 9/11 was coming, of course. It's no surprise that the deadliest foreign attack on U.S. soil should be an occasion for reflection and study at any of my kids' schools. I'd be upset if it weren't.
But the red, white and blue are celebratory colors. And this anniversary was no occasion for celebration.
Sure, we got Bin Laden. We also defeated the Japanese in World War II. But I don't see people dressing festively to celebrate the anniversary of Pearl Harbor.
We remember Dec. 7, 1941, as a "day that will live in infamy." That's what 9/11 means to me.
Over Labor Day weekend, my younger two kids and I drove to Michigan to visit friends and family. We passed near Somerset, Pennsylvania, where Flight 93 crashed in a field on Sept. 11, 2001.
My sixth grader noted the signs along the PA Turnpike for the upcoming 9/11 commemorations. "Where were they trying to take the plane?" he asked me.
"I can't remember whether they were headed for the White House or the capitol building," I told him. "But the passengers stopped them."
"Why did they crash the plane here?" the 8-year-old chimed in from the backseat.
"Well, the passengers fought with them to keep them from crashing in Washington. They heard from their families about what happened at the World Trade Center in New York. I guess this is where they were when the plane went out of control," I said.
"They wanted to stop the terrorists from getting Washington," my son said thoughtfully. "They sacrificed their own lives to keep other people from being killed."
"I didn't know that!" burbled his sister. "I remember when they told us about New York and Osama bin Laden—"
"—And the Pentagon," her brother sternly reminded her.
"—And the Pennagon," she continued. "But I didn't know about this."
The 11 year-old was silent.
I remember driving to my office on Sept. 12, 2001, weeping as I saw our country's flag displayed—hanging from windows at Congressional office buildings, at half-mast all along Independence Avenue—as a symbol of national unity.
That display of our flag and its colors is a world removed from the cheerful red, white and blue on our clothes for the 4th of July.
In the end, my kids went to school in their regular clothes. We did not lose any family members or friends on Sept. 11, so mourning would have been a little over the top. But I'm pretty sure no one wanted me to send them in with their patriotic garb at half-mast.
Charlotte Savoy
10:43 pm on Monday, September 12, 2011
Really Kate?! You wept on 9/12/01 but you couldn't send your kids to school in red/white and blue because there wasn't anything for them mourn?!
Not a fan of this post at all!
A little over the top...how about a celebration that their Uncle comes home from war after fighting to protect that freedom.
My brother earned 3 purple hearts in AG fighting for your freedom...and almost didn't make it home. There are thousands and thousands of other stories just like mine.
Your kids should wear red/white and blue because they love the country and freedom that they live in and they respect every life lost due to terror placed upon our country...and out of respect for those that never made it home!
Just because you didn't "lose" anyone...what does it say to your kids friends that did?!
Matt M
10:51 am on Tuesday, September 13, 2011
You were "stunned"? Wow!
In the end, I guess you did what I would expect that someone who disagreed with the request would do; not comply. Not sure why you wrote an over-the-top blog post about it.
Jenny
1:03 pm on Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I agree- how come we don't wear red, white and blue on the day of the Oklahoma City bombing? That was an act of terror on American soil as well and hundreds (children and adults) lost their lives that day as well (April 19th for those of you who forgot). I am a patriot- I was in NYC a few blocks from the WTC on Sept 11th- I will always rememebr my heroes that day and all that happened in those hours and on that day in my life- I will never forget but I too did not send my kids in red white and blue clothes- for me that day is a hard day - one I will talk to my kids about but it is not the essence of America- I celebrate America on the 4th of July and my heroes on Sept 11th.
Dee
3:29 pm on Tuesday, September 13, 2011
More than just Americans died on 9-11. Why can't people remember and respect losses from other nations. That is the problem of people who can't think globally!
Kat
2:20 pm on Thursday, September 15, 2011
Although I respect other people's desire to commemmorate 9/11 in whatever way seems fit to them, the wearing of the red/white/blue (and the school suggesting it to parents!) seems to me a bit garishly patriotic, almost showoffy -- kind of like when it became de rigeur for members of Congress to show up with flag pins on their lapels. Patriotism should be reflected in words and deeds, not in fashion choices.
Katy Clemens
12:10 pm on Tuesday, September 27, 2011
i agree completely. it's turning the pain of thousands into rank jingoism.
Kathy
8:58 am on Sunday, September 18, 2011
I agree with the author. Wearing red white and blue doesn't make you (or your kids) patriots any more than blindly agreeing with everything the government says or not analyzing the actions of our country does. It has become frightening the way that a person can be verbally attacked for even daring to suggest that we are not "The Greatest Country in the World" in some aspect. Patriotism is love of country and wanting to make that country better and protecting it in time of need--not waving flags and wearing red white and blue while making personal and political decisions that do not benefit our country and its citizens. .
Kate Yemelyanov
4:25 pm on Sunday, September 18, 2011
Didn't get permission to quote this person so I am not identifying him/her but this is the best comment AGAINST what I said that I've gotten so far: "You are mistaken if you are teaching your children that red, white, and blue are only celebratory colors. Those colors symbolize patriotism and all that is America, not just a flag waving parade on July 4th or at the family picnic. If you don't believe me, look at the casket of a solider. It is draped in red, white and blue. You missed an opportunity to teach your children a valuable lesson in patriotism. It is not reserved just for fun, happy, vacation days." Good point.
Katy Clemens
12:11 pm on Tuesday, September 27, 2011
that is a good point. but i still would have felt as you did. but then i examine why i feel that way. patriotism and my flag have been co-opted by jingoistic hawks, and that's not fair. maybe i need to take back my flag and its colors.
Liz W
12:23 am on Monday, October 3, 2011
As a proud veteran, I too disliked the push by schools for our children to wear red, white and blue on September 11th. It is good that schools do not gloss over this in the daily lessons. However, coercing kids to wear the colors of our esteemed flag seemed to trivialize the events AND the meaning of patriotism.
Our folks in AFG aren't fighting to protect our freedom, so much as they are fighting to promote our value of freedom worldwide. Those service members who return to U.S. soil in caskets (and those alive and fighting) all gave up their voices, lives and personal freedoms so that U.S. civilians could LIVE freely. (This includes choosing whether or not to send our children to school in red white and blue.) All of our service men and women were grown adults when they willingly agreed to these restrictions. Their commitment is then honored with the privilege of being draped under those colors after having made the ultimate sacrifice.
Kate's children learned the lessons. They know what happened. They know how it happened. They know WHY passengers on flight 93 were heroes. That is an invaluable lesson in patriotism. She didn't miss a teachable moment. Let's not underestimate our children's ability to show their patriotism. I'd rather see 3 dozen kids at an elementary school wearing red, white and blue on September 11th of their own accord, than see a school full of kids decked out like its Flag Day but have no idea what the symbolism of their attire means.